I had partially drafted this blog post, but felt inspired to finish it and schedule it when I read Clare’s Forever Goals.
On one end of the spectrum, there are girls who are dying to be part of a “We.” We love that movie. We vacation in the Outer Banks. We’re staying in tonight to cuddle.
On the end side, you have girls like me. The girls who fear “We.” Girls who pride themselves on being independent: making their own decisions and being in control of their schedules.
I think girls like me are fighting hard against age-old stereotypes of “typical” females: we’re not willing to give up our lives, our interests, or our time to ingratiate ourselves to men.
And in some ways, it’s great that women are taking a stand for independence. But there are drawbacks- like preventing yourself from fully committing to someone because you fear that you will lose yourself.
I know a happy medium exists because I’ve seen it. Like my one friend, who lives with her boyfriend but has no qualms about having a silly girls’ night out. Who has used the phrase “We love that show,” but watches Bethenny Ever After without her boyfriend. Who doesn’t make the fact that she’s in a relationship the first thing people know about her, but doesn’t hide it either.
As with many things I blog about, it’s about finding the fine healthy line between independence and co-dependence.
In Clare’s words, I strive to “Be independently successful but even better together.” Cheers to finding that balance!
Love this post, Christina. I too struggled so hard with this, unable to believe that the line between we and me existed, that I would get swallowed up in the “other” and lose myself. Honestly, the trick is to find someone who admires exactly who you are: independence and all, and has a deep desire to foster you to be more of yourself. Obviously, there are compromises to be made, but I promise, it is doable and real! Clare’s quote really sums it up!
LOVE THIS!!