Last updated by at .

joy and purpose at work.jpg.jpg Joy and Purpose at Work

Imagine your perfect work situation. Are you imagining?

If you’re like me, you want to start work every day feeling like you’re fulfilling your purpose by changing the community, empowering individuals, helping others grow their babies businesses, or something else purpose-y. It doesn’t have to come in the form of working with a non-profit or being a career counselor, but purpose- however you define it- is probably important to you. So we’ve talked about purpose.

Now let’s hop on over to joy. You- like me- might want to interact with awesome coworkers, clients, and customers, play a little ping pong, drink the delicious free office coffee, and be able to leave work at 4pm on Fridays. We’ll put all of these things under joy.

So, most likely, your perfect work situation brings you both purpose and joy. Now imagine for a minute these two scenarios:

Let’s say you work with battered teens at a crisis center. You make a difference in their lives, which undoubtedly fills you with purpose. But maybe it’s taking a toll on you emotionally, maybe you can’t stand your cynical coworkers, or maybe you feel like your work/life balance is out of whack because you stay until 9pm most nights. Here you have purpose with no joy.

Now let’s say you work at a tech start-up. You love your hip, chic office, you love playing skeeball when you need a quick break, and you love the on-site gym where you can sneak in a workout. But maybe you wonder every day how much of a difference you’re actually making. Here you have joy with no purpose.

I think you get where I’m going- the ideal work situation, at least for me, combines joy and purpose. Without both, I think it’s difficult to feel fulfilled long-term. So here’s to finding both!

Have you found both joy and purpose at work? Have you had a job with one but not the other?

flaky people On FlakinessPhoto credit

Why is our generation so flaky? Why doesn’t anyone follow through? Why do people take on 10 million projects and then fail to complete them?

Is it because they’re volunteers and there is no pay incentivizing them? Is it because only full-time work, not contract work, would motivate them to stick to deadlines? Is it because they don’t like being managed by individuals their own age? Is it because we’re the Idea Generation and hate actually executing?

Or is it all managers’ faults? Do they not set realistic expectations? Do they try too hard to be laid-back, when really they should be hard asses?

I don’t understand this ever-increasing phenomenon, though I admittedly having fallen prey to this terrible trait before- yes, this is the pot calling the kettle black icon smile On Flakiness

How do you work more effectively with those who tend to go MIA or offer a handful of excuses for every missed deadline? Do you follow up constantly? Let them set their own deadlines? Give them one chance to succeed and then kick them to the curb? Patiently hold their hand?

Or is it me? Am I wrong? Is our generation reliable and my expectations are just too high?

Let’s hear it!

P.S. Check out How to Avoid the Idea Generation Trap on 99u!

Do you ever stop in the middle of what you’re doing and think about it in the context of the world? For example, I wrote awhile back about a hard day at work. My hard days consist of being pulled in a million directions, trying to hit overlapping deadlines, attempting to coordinate with MIA individuals, and occasionally responding to less-than-positive feedback about my clients and their products. In the grand scheme of the world and its problems- bombings, domestic abuse, poverty, to name just a few- how much does my work actually matter?

But does that mean I shouldn’t take it seriously? If I told my clients that I couldn’t send out tweets or blog posts because I didn’t think they mattered very much in the grand scheme of life, you better believe I wouldn’t have a business for long.

Perspective is undoubtedly important- putting our lives in the context of the world, taking time to be grateful for what we have, and acknowledging that maybe our struggles are just plain not so bad.

But where’s the line between having perspective while simultaneously remembering that our feelings and stresses are valid?

How do you manage your life while trying to keep perspective?

what constitutes happiness 1024x682 What Constitutes Happiness for You?

Sometimes I make the mistake of believing that fun is synonymous with happiness. True, usually when I’m having fun, I’m happy- but I often forget that there are other states of being besides having fun that make me happy.

If I look back and think of happy times, I think of cracking up on road trips with friends, silly adventures in other cities, and game nights at my place. What I usually forget to remember are the times I’ve puttered around my kitchen for hours by myself, taken long hikes in nature, gone to a yoga or Pilates class, read an emotionally stimulating book, sat in a particularly thought-provoking lecture, perused the goods at the farmers’ market, or had an insanely productive day at work.

I may not define these times as “fun” but they are often times when I’m truly happy. So I got to thinking (in true Carrie style): What- besides fun- constitutes happiness for me?

I’ve made a list before of things that make me happy and things that don’t bring me happiness, but I’m talking about states of being, not activities or things here.

Serenity: Happiness for me usually carries an overwhelming sense of serenity (“The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled”). I feel like no matter what comes my way, I can take it on. Please note that I wouldn’t define crazy fun times as calm per se, but I still see them as serenity filled.

Fun: Fun isn’t the only element of happiness for me, but it certainly is often one aspect. Dying of laughter over dumb jokes with friends, charades with the family, or playing Raleighopoly with my boyfriend? Bring on the happiness.

Challenged: Whether I’m challenging my body in a tough game of tennis or my mind in a viewing of Miss Representation (haha, sorry about all this cheesy phrasing!), I feel happy that I’m engaging in activities that stretch the boundaries for me.

Productive: And not just for the sake of feeling productive. I’m talking about engaging in an activity that accomplishes some level of beneficial goodness for myself or for others- be it picking up fresh groceries at the farmers’ market for a week of home-cooked meals or volunteering with Change the Triangle or writing a blog post that I hope others can relate to.

Supported: Feeling supported by those around me is one of my key elements for happiness. Maybe it’s my best friends or my coworkers or fellow HUB members or the blog girls, but that feeling of having people backing you is very powerful.

I may be overlooking some, but these are the states of being that contribute to happiness for me.

What constitutes happiness for you?

I’m looking for posts from guest bloggers and I want you! Whether it’s a post on a great fall soup recipe, a guide to destress over the holidays, or your favorite places in the Triangle, I want to hear from you.

Uncle Sam Call for Guest Posts on My Blog

Need even more guidance? Here is a list of blog posts that I’ve been trying to write but haven’t gotten around to quite yet:

  • Things You Should Be Doing Around the House Which You’re Probably Not (cleaning coffeemaker, etc)
  • How to Save Money on Gas
  • Ingredient Spotlight: Spaghetti Squash
  • How to Market a Coworking Space
  • Lessons From a First Time Entrepreneur
  • Fun Ways to Get Smarter(er) (online game sites that help you learn)
  • Favorite Google Tips, Tricks, and Hacks
  • How to Earn Money on the Side (TaskRabbit, elance.com, etc)
  • The Perks of Working Virtually
  • Rainy Day Raleigh (things to do in Raleigh on a rainy day)
  • The Best Pranks
  • Creative Moving Tips
  • How to Make it Through Winter
  • How to Spend a Sick Day
  • Misused and Abused (misused words and expressions…think “literally”)

Interested? Email me at scintillatingsimplicity@gmail.com with your proposed blog post!

If you don’t know who you want to vote for, should you vote anyway?

Along the same lines, if you don’t know about each candidate for each position, should you leave the rest of the ballot blank or vote a straight party ticket?

If everyone considers a green party vote a wasted vote, when will it not be a wasted vote?

Is there any truth behind the phrase, “Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains”?

Should you vote based on your current situation or on your hopes for the future? For example, if you are middle-class but firmly believe you will make it to the upper-class, which interests should you vote according to? Theoretically, your beliefs and philosophies shouldn’t change based on your changing socioeconomic status, but I think we all know that they do.

Am I the only one who doesn’t mind people’s political musings, accusations, and ponderings on Facebook?

And last but not least, one of the best statuses I saw this morning:

Yay America! Good race everybody icon smile The Political Questions Rattling Around in My Brain Though my boy did not win, I am hopeful that Obama will turn the US in a positive direction and that all will turn out well icon biggrin The Political Questions Rattling Around in My Brain

 

reality check 1024x682 Reality Check: Its Not the End of the World... Photo credit

…If I eat a fast food meal instead of a healthy home-cooked meal

…If I don’t blog for a day…or a week

…If I have 1000+ unread items in my Google Reader

…If I miss a few days at the gym

…If I work fewer hours than I should and need to put in some time over the weekend

…If my books are a day overdue at the library

…If every item on my Evernote To Do List isn’t checked off by 5pm

…If there are a few articles of clothing scattered on my bathroom floor

…If I go a few days without tweeting

…If an email goes unanswered for a few hours

Sometimes it seems like the exact system that we develop to keep ourselves sane is the same system that causes us stress. Yes, I work out and eat healthy to feel good, but sometimes even that needs to take the back burner- behind having fun, seeing friends, and living in the moment.

Anddd a bit of reality check humor to lighten the mood:

reality check bounced Reality Check: Its Not the End of the World... Photo credit

I had partially drafted this blog post, but felt inspired to finish it and schedule it when I read Clare’s Forever Goals.

Screen shot 2012 09 18 at 6.40.55 PM The Fear of We

On one end of the spectrum, there are girls who are dying to be part of a “We.” We love that movie. We vacation in the Outer Banks. We’re staying in tonight to cuddle. 

On the end side, you have girls like me. The girls who fear “We.” Girls who pride themselves on being independent: making their own decisions and being in control of their schedules.

I think girls like me are fighting hard against age-old stereotypes of “typical” females: we’re not willing to give up our lives, our interests, or our time to ingratiate ourselves to men.

And in some ways, it’s great that women are taking a stand for independence. But there are drawbacks- like preventing yourself from fully committing to someone because you fear that you will lose yourself.

I know a happy medium exists because I’ve seen it. Like my one friend, who lives with her boyfriend but has no qualms about having a silly girls’ night out. Who has used the phrase “We love that show,” but watches Bethenny Ever After without her boyfriend. Who doesn’t make the fact that she’s in a relationship the first thing people know about her, but doesn’t hide it either.

As with many things I blog about, it’s about finding the fine healthy line between independence and co-dependence.

In Clare’s words, I strive to “Be independently successful but even better together.” Cheers to finding that balance!

I’m pretty awful at succinctly summarizing movies and my opinions on them. But I’ve been watching a lot of movies as of late, so I figured a 5-10 word reviews would be a perfect solution. Keep in mind that I have notoriously terrible taste in movies among my friends, but I don’t think it’s so bad icon smile 5 10 Word Movie Reviews

Contraband: Reminded me of Alpha Dog. Loved it.

John Q: Denzel! Tears, laughter, family. Must see.

No Country for Old Men Normally love thrillers, not this one. Turned off before end.

This Means War: Cheesy and predictable but cute. Liked it.

Shawshawk Redemption: Must see. You will cry.

Chicago: Over-the-top musical, didn’t think I’d love it. Did.

Drive: Neo-noir. Not my genre. Even Gosling can’t save it.

Cabin in the Woods: Loved it until plot was revealed. Then just weird.

What to Expect when You’re Expecting: A little over-the-top, Bridesmaids-style. Cute watch though.

What Lies Beneath: Slow-moving but intense ending. Didn’t predict the twist.

Your turn: give me a 5-10 word review of your favorite movie or a movie you’ve seen recently.

My sister told me the other day that the preschool where she works has a daily Character Club, which teaches the kids important life lessons. As a side note, I want to form a young adult Character Club! How amazingly nerdy and cool would that be? I guess Change the Triangle is pretty close…

bucket Fill the Bucket Photo credit

Ready for a Character Club takeaway? Imagine that every person has a bucket. You can fill someone’s bucket by saying kind things, complimenting them, or being nice. You take away from someone’s bucket by being mean, rude, or hurtful. Also very importantly, you can protect your bucket by covering your bucket and telling someone “No, you cannot take away from my bucket.” I don’t know about you, but I definitely plan to use that line in every day adult conversations.

And that is your lesson of the day, straight from preschool icon smile Fill the Bucket

I encourage you to fill someone’s bucket today. Let me know what you did it in the comments section. 

P.S. I was going to title this post “Fill my Bucket” but does anyone else read that in a dirty way?! Just me?

pixel Fill the Bucket
+Cristina Roman