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Fill the Bucket

10. September 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: Inspiration, Thought of the Day · Tags: , ,

My sister told me the other day that the preschool where she works has a daily Character Club, which teaches the kids important life lessons. As a side note, I want to form a young adult Character Club! How amazingly nerdy and cool would that be? I guess Change the Triangle is pretty close…

bucket Fill the Bucket Photo credit

Ready for a Character Club takeaway? Imagine that every person has a bucket. You can fill someone’s bucket by saying kind things, complimenting them, or being nice. You take away from someone’s bucket by being mean, rude, or hurtful. Also very importantly, you can protect your bucket by covering your bucket and telling someone “No, you cannot take away from my bucket.” I don’t know about you, but I definitely plan to use that line in every day adult conversations.

And that is your lesson of the day, straight from preschool icon smile Fill the Bucket

I encourage you to fill someone’s bucket today. Let me know what you did it in the comments section. 

P.S. I was going to title this post “Fill my Bucket” but does anyone else read that in a dirty way?! Just me?

A Hard Day at Work

05. September 2012 · 1 comment · Categories: Thought of the Day · Tags: , , , , , ,

Nope, this post isn’t about a hard day that I’m currently having at work. A Quora thread recently caught my eye.

What does a bad day at your work look like?

28 people responded to the question, including somebody who works in an emergency room, someone who works at an oil refinery, and a teacher.

Their answers got me thinking: every day, individuals are face-to-face with natural disasters, death, accidents, fraud, and more in their professions.

A bad day at my job? There’s internal conflict on the methods we should use. I’m pulled in different directions on projects. I have a lot of work for both of my jobs. My inbox is overflowing. One of the sites we use is down. On the scale of stressful jobs, mine isn’t very high.

I think we tend to adapt to our circumstances in a way that can have negative repercussions. If we’re surrounded every day by people who are handling the same situations that we are, I think we tend to exist within a cycle that allows and even encourages us to be stressed. If I’m surrounded by recruiters, suddenly LinkedIn Recruiter being down for a few hours feels like a big deal. But if I stop and think about what people in other professions have to deal it, my worries seem trivial.

Hearing about this cop who delivers news of death to family members or listening to my sister, who works with a 5-year-old with autism makes me want to think twice before I stress about my job.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t surround ourselves with people who are working on similar things. It can be very beneficial and often necessary. But I think we need to actively combat our tendency to justify our stress within situations that, let’s face it, really aren’t so bad.

Do you ever find yourself stressed about things you later realize aren’t very significant? What techniques do you use to combat this tendency?

What Motivates Us to Get Involved?

20. August 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: Blog group, Thought of the Day · Tags: , , , , ,

I’ve always had a tendency to involve myself with a myriad of activities outside of school and work. In high school, I played volleyball, had an internship, and volunteered regularly; in college, I started The GW Social Enterprise Forum, interned with several organizations, was a mentor for Compass Fellows, and was very involved with a pre-semester volunteer program for freshmen called Community Building Community.

Currently, I am the head of the membership committee for Change the Triangle; I run the Triangle area bloggers group; I am organizing an event for the NC alumni chapter of GW; and I will hopefully be sitting on a regional board for Compass.
Call them extracurriculars or hobbies, but I always find myself busy! I got to thinking recently about what motivates us to get and stay involved in non-required activities.
  • To be generous: One might argue that the #1 thing that gets a young professional out of bed at 6:45am on a Saturday morning for a Change the Triangle volunteer event is selflessness. Seeing the impact we have on the community, through cleaning Jordan Lake or working with kids at Haven House, is certainly a huge motivation for me. Knowing I can drink a cup of coffee doesn’t hurt either icon wink What Motivates Us to Get Involved? Likewise, empowering others is my top motivation for being involved with Compass Fellows- I see the benefits of the fellowship and want to play a role in ensuring that the most students possible can reap those benefits.
  • To make friends: The majority of my friends have come from Change the Triangle, so I can’t discount that as a benefit. Like with Community Building Community, having access to a group of like-minded young adults has been incredible. Meeting like-minded girls was definitely my #1 motivation for starting the blog group. 
  • To network: Being involved in “extracurriculars” is a great jumping off point for conversations and adds a unique dimension to young professionals. Compass and the GW Alumni Association will undoubtedly provide me with extensive networking opportunities with individuals whom I already have something in common with (a love of social enterprise and a fondness for GW, respectively). 
  • To pad our resumes: When we’re meeting all said people at networking events {see above}, we can pass out our super-padded resumes, which include our numerous professional affiliations icon smile What Motivates Us to Get Involved?  
  • To give us an escape from work: Working on a Habitat house is a far cry from tweeting or sourcing candidates, which is probably why I enjoy it so much {not to say I don’t love tweeting or sourcing!}. Stepping outside my normal day-to-day is empowering and a welcome change of pace.  
  • Peer pressure: Whether you think of it as positive peer pressure or not, our generation certainly instills in us that being involved and yes, staying busy, are critical for our happiness and success. 
  • Explore outside interests: When I was a Human Services major in college, being part of Compass Partners and founding The GW Social Enterprise Forum allowed me to explore my budding interest in social enterprise. Extracurriculars and hobbies are a safe, low-commitment way to explore our other interests, perhaps even leading to a change in major or career path.
What are you involved with outside of school and/or work? What motivates you? 

Random Thoughts Thursday

15. August 2012 · 1 comment · Categories: Archives, Raleigh, North Carolina, Thought of the Day · Tags: , , , ,

I’ve dubbed today Random Thoughts Thursday. You’ve seen several disjointed random musings posts lately because conversations with friends, family, coworkers, and “tweeple” (Twitter people) have spawned some interesting trains of thought. Here’s more of what’s been on my mind lately:

  • Bungee jumping vs skydiving: Specifically, what is the rate of accidents for one vs the other?
  • Percy the cat: This is such a hilarious story from 2009. Apparently a cat named Percy would jump on a train every day, take it to a nearby marine life center, and watch the penguins all day!
  • Unroll.me: I have carefully created filters on my Gmail account for incoming emails, but for those with less patience, there’s Unroll.me. It links to your email account and sends you a once-daily roundup of all your subscription emails (think LivingSocial). Another victory for email efficiency!
  • Windows Live Writer: I read Peanut Butter Fingers’ post on Everyday Blogging Tools and was inspired to test-drive Windows Live Writer, which apparently saves tons of time when blogging. Unfortunately, it is only available on Windows, but luckily I have a PC! The program allows you to compose blog posts in a format similar to Microsoft Word, which makes it more user-friendly than the WordPress format.
  • If This Then That: Also known as IFTTT, it is an online service that allows you to use commands to create an automatic chain of events. Example: IF someone mentions you on a tweet, THEN send a tweet back thanking them or IF a photo pops up on Instagram, THEN save it to Dropbox. The list of “recipes” is extensive- check it out!
  • Ethiopian food: On Saturday, I spontaneously suggested to a friend that we try out Abyssinia, a local Ethiopian restaurant. Our conversation: “We should go.” “Cool, when?” “Tonight?” And soon we had eight adventurous eaters ready for a hands-free African eating experience. The verdict: casual hole-in-the-wall; friendly service complete with hugs; decent prices ($22 per person including tip and drinks); and delicious food.
  • Grass Is greener: Do not stop reading after the next sentence. Promise? A line from a Justin Bieber song got stuck in my head (I didn’t realize it was him until after it was planted there) because it rang true to me. “The grass isn’t greener on the other side // it’s greener where you water it.” Trite but true! #lessonslearnedfrombiebersongs wlEmoticon smile Random Thoughts Thursday
  • One red paperclip: I have no idea what caused me to remember this story, but I somehow thought about a guy I’d heard of who took items and traded them for slightly better items off the course of the year. After Googling it, I got the whole story: a guy took a red paperclip and eventually ended up with a house! Pretty insane the power of bartering, huh? A teen did a similar thing and ended up with a Porsche will still in high school.
  • Resubscribe to my blog: My sister reminded me to tell you all that when I switched web hosting, all of the subscriptions to my blog were cancelled. Apologies for the inconvenience, especially if you thought I wasn’t posting these days! You can resubscribe using the Subscribe to Blog by Email widget on my right sidebar.
  • Spize Café: My sister and I grabbed lunch at Spize Café on Fayetteville St in downtown Raleigh the other day and remembered our old obsession with the place. The food is absolutely incredible; the service and owners are great; the interior is stylish; and the prices are very good (about $9 for an entrée that gives you leftovers). It’s one of my top 5 favorite restaurants in Raleigh.

And my favorite Instagram picture of the week so far:

2012 08 14 14 50 39 990 thumb1 Random Thoughts Thursday
What random thoughts are on your mind?

Random Thoughts for Wednesday

08. August 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: Life Updates & Recaps, Recruiting, Thought of the Day · Tags: ,

1) Durham Bulls: Change the Triangle is selling tickets to a Durham Bulls game as a fundraiser. The tickets are $9 in person or $10.49 through Eventbrite and can be redeemed for any Thursday or Sunday game. We’re going as a group on August 23rd at 7pm! Let me know if you decide to buy a ticket and use my name on the order form icon smile Random Thoughts for Wednesday

2) IndieGoGo: Change the Triangle is raising funds through IndieGoGo for future volunteer projects. We would love any contribution you can offer! Go here to donate.

2) Zaky: The owner of Zaky, a casual Mediterranean restaurant on Glenwood, generously offered me a falafel and free chicken shawarma in exchange for a blog mention. I liked the falafel even though I’m not usually a big fan and I enjoyed the few bites of chicken I had. My official taste tester said the ratio of pita to chicken was decent and though it tasted a bit more like curry than he expected, he liked it! I would definitely go back and try the different menu offerings, especially since the location and prices are both great.

3) Hashonomy: I stumbled across this site through a coworker and I lover it! For any given hashtag, it lists related hashtags, top users of the hashtag, and links tweeted using the hashtag. Such cool features, especially for recruiting!

4) RecruiterRoman: I felt like my normal Twitter account was becoming inundated with recruiting tweets and job postings, so I decided to experiment with my own work Twitter. RecruiterCristina was taken so I opted for RecruiterRoman instead icon smile Random Thoughts for Wednesday

5) G105: For the first time in my life, I won something by calling into a radio station. Granted it’s a South Park DVD, which wouldn’t be my top choice of prizes, but I don’t care because I wonnnn.

6) Puncture: My sister and I picked up this movie the other day because it said it was like Erin Brockovich. It’s based on a true story about a drug-using lawyer who works on a case concerning the safety of front-line hospital workers. Can’t wait to finish it!

7) Toasted Almond Coffee: Loving Dunkin Donuts Toasted Almond Coffee! I just use one tablespoon for every 3 tablespoons of regular coffee because the flavor is pretty strong.

8) Twitter Tools: Currently using HootSuite, TweetDeck, and Buffer for different Twitter accounts. Do you have a favorite Twitter management tool? What do you like/dislike about the one above?

9) Civic Duty: On Sunday I decided to bake brownies and convince my sister and our friend to take them to the fire department with me as way of saying thank you for serving us. The first fire department was a pretty standard drop-off, but at the second one, the firemen invited us in to tour the station, take pictures, and wear their fireproof outfits. They also invited us back for lunch one day and made sure to tell us to ask for Shift A. Haha, such a fun Sunday adventure!

10) Thank You: Today I’ll planning to say thank you to people who might not hear it often and I encourage you to do the same. Maybe it’s your payroll department, who only gets contacted when there’s an issue; your parents, who only get a call when you need something; or the leader of a volunteer organization, who manages a non-profit while working two other jobs (ahem my sista!).

Interaction Across Social Media Platforms

23. July 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: Career Development, Thought of the Day, Trends · Tags: , , , , , ,

I recently received an interesting comment on my 10 Thoughts for Friday post. I mentioned in the post that I respond to invites from people on LinkedIn with a short message asking them to clarify why they’re connecting with me. My wording:

Hi x, 

Thank you for the invitation to connect on LinkedIn! I wanted to check in and see what you were interested in connecting about since I don’t believe we’ve met in person.  

Thank you and take care,

Cristina

Vicki commented on the post and urged me to accept the LinkedIn contacts, stating that “Nearly never will you be connected to by a weirdo – and if you are, it doesn’t reflect on you. LinkedIn is simply about building your network, sharing ideas, and making new business acquaintances…” In contrast, her thoughts were to be more cautious with Facebook and Twitter: “this is where I might use your response, to vet your new connections.” Lastly she said “You want your FB friends to actually be friends (or, I do).”

All of this got me thinking about how different individuals interact across social media platforms, their actions often based on assumptions or past experiences. Although there are very few formal rules governing our social media interactions, people have formed divergent ideas of etiquette- some platform by platform and others about social media as a whole.

Here is how I approach each platform and why:

  • LinkedIn: By now, you know my philosophy on LinkedIn. I accept people I know and follow up with those I don’t know. But there’s a reason that I don’t readily accept everyone: I actually had a weird experience with LinkedIn that changed my perspective a bit. I was added by an individual who was connected to others that I know and trust. Turns out, he wanted me to join his iffy business venture. I don’t think I would have been so trusting if I hadn’t seen that others I knew were connected to him. Hence my reasoning for being more cautious in accepting invites. There are also features on LinkedIn that lend themselves to keeping a curated network. You can ask contacts to connect you to their contacts. If people in the chain don’t know each other in real life, it dilutes the effectiveness of this feature because they are unable to vouch for each other. For more on my LinkedIn philosophy, see my post To Connect or Not to Connect: The Rules of LinkedIn.
  • Twitter: My love affair with Twitter is well-known. I see it as the most open of all the social networks. I welcome any and all follows that are not porn bots icon smile Interaction Across Social Media Platforms  Unless you have a closed account, you can’t control who follows you, so I don’t think it reflects on you (in contrast to LinkedIn, for example, where you have to make a decision whether to accept or reject a connection). As for who I follow: if I am interested in the content of the tweets, I will follow the person. I see Twitter as more about content than relationships (in contrast again to LinkedIn).
  • Foursquare: I sometimes get requests from strangers on FourSquare, which I decline. I share the check-ins that I want others to see on Twitter, but I prefer only my friends to see some, so I think it’s important to keep this network closed.
  • Facebook: As Vicki said, Facebook is for your real friends. 100% agreed! As I said in my comment to her, I see it as the only place on the internet where I can be my 22 (almost 23!) year old self. One thing that makes it slightly more complicated: Raleigh networking is very casual, so sometimes the line between friend and acquaintance blurs. In the past year, I’ve begun accepting business contacts, which I have mixed feelings about.
  • Pinterest: I’m not sharing anything particularly personal, so I’m flattered when people follow my boards. I follow boards of friends and other people that I stumble upon icon smile Interaction Across Social Media Platforms
  • Blog: The more the merrier!

Clearly, I approach each social media platform differently. I think it’s important to do so because they all have unique missions and features that make them more fitting for one kind of relationship over another (i.e. LinkedIn provides more value to business relationships than friendships). If I were to approach each platform in the same way, I may as well just be using one, right?

Where do you stand? Why? Do you approach social media as a whole or platform by platform? 

Thank you to Vicki for prompting such an interesting discussion!

There’s Always Something

19. July 2012 · 1 comment · Categories: Inspiration, Life Advice, Thought of the Day · Tags: , , ,

Theres Always Something Photo credit

Some people approach life with a “glass half empty” mentality, believing that there is always something to be upset about. And guess what? There is. From trivial issues- like an unpaid bill or a fight with a friend- to bigger problems- like foreclosure, poverty, or illness- there is always something in life to get down about, fret about, and worry about.

But do you want to live your life constantly focusing on things that could go wrong?

On the flip side, there’s always something to be happy about. Maybe you refer to it as finding the silver lining. Or Pollyannaism {based on the movie character Pollyanna, who played The Glad Game where she found something to be glad about in every circumstance}.

Theres Always Something Theres Always SomethingI’m not saying you should sweep your own problems under the rug; trivialize other people’s concerns; or adopt a “who cares” attitude about world issues.

What I am encouraging is acknowledging that you can always see life from two perspectives: generally positive or generally negative. In my experience, approaching is from a negative mindset doesn’t accomplish much except worry, anxiety, and stress.

So how are you going to approach life today?

P.S. A little “glass half full” humor:

Theres Always Something

Theres Always SomethingPhoto credit

Weekly Check-In: The Rooms of Your Life

16. July 2012 · 1 comment · Categories: Inspiration, Life Advice, Personal Development, Thought of the Day · Tags: , ,

Weekly Check In: The Rooms of Your Life Photo credit

Ever heard of The Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life’s Little Imperfections Weekly Check In: The Rooms of Your Life? The premise of the book is that each room in the house correlates to a different area of your life:

“The bedroom for love and intimacy, the family room for grown siblings and parents, the bathroom for body image, health, and vanity, the living room for friends, the office for bills, career and so on.”

I always think of this analogy when I assess my life because it helps ensure that you don’t leave out one critical area!

Whenever I feel overwhelmed {or to prevent feeling overwhelmed} I do a check-in of each “room” of my life.

Financials: Are all my bills paid? Did I stick to my budget this week? Could I cut out any expenses next week?

Health: Do I feel like I exercised enough? Did I infuse exercise into my daily actions? Did I eat healthy, fresh foods? What do I regret eating {usually gluten!} that I can work on next week? Did I get enough sleep?

Relationships: Have I maintained a good balance of my relationships? Have I made an effort to keep in touch with friends and family in other cities? Have I done so even if things are going well for me {I find it’s easier to remember to contact friends when you need support!}? Do I have any interpersonal issues I need to address? Did I apologized when I needed to? Did I make an effort to make new friends or strengthen current friendships? Did I do kind things for friends and family?

Career: Did I put in the necessary hours this week? What did I excel at? What could I have done better? What advice, tips, and feedback can I take in to improve my performance? Did I ask for or take feedback?

Mental health: How do I feel emotionally? How can I maintain or improve my mood? Are things at home organized and clean? Have I pampered myself {painted nails, hair cut, etc}?

Intellectual health: Did I challenge myself intellectually through absorbing new information? Did I stay up-to-date on current events? Did I pursue interests outside of work?

Community: Was I proud of who I was this week? Did I make an effort to brighten the days of people around me with small gestures? Did I make the community better {by volunteering or otherwise?}? Did I take advantage of the city?

P.S. My blog posts have been a bit heavy lately. I’m doing great and having plenty of fun, but thinking a lot about self-improvement and personal growth. I’m not sure the exact catalyst for this, but hopefully these posts help you if you’re experiencing similar sentiments!

On Feeling Afraid and Not Doing It

05. July 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: Inspiration, Thought of the Day · Tags: , , ,

skydiving On Feeling Afraid and Not Doing It Photo credit

I recently read a post on Yes and Yes entitled On Feeling Afraid And Doing It Anyway. The title is a pretty accurate summary of the blog post, but another quote jumped out at me “I do not let the fears determine my behavior.”

I get that. I really do. There are times when I’ve been afraid or nervous or fearful of something, but I did it anyway. It was empowering, uplifting, and reassuring. I’ve confronted people I needed to stand up to; I started a business; and I joined a kickball team. Respectively, that got me the opportunity to build stronger relationships and to end unhealthy ones; a chance to build a community hub in Raleigh; and several new friends and an athletic outlet. The payoffs of my actions have far outweighed the fear or nervousness I harbored.

But there are other times when I wonder if it’s okay to be afraid and not do it. The idea of skydiving makes me nauseous; the idea of holding a snake scares the living daylights out of me; and I really have no desire to ride an upside-down roller coaster.

Am I hiding behind fear? You could argue that. But I think I’ve just weighed the benefits against the stress and anxiety and decided it’s not worth it.* The feeling of skydiving might be unparalleled; holding a snake may make me fine seeing them on hikes; and riding a roller coaster might be liberating. But I’m willing to take the risk of not finding out because it just doesn’t feel worth it.

So before you feel peer pressured into doing something you’re scared of, ask yourself: What’s the payoff? Do the benefits outweigh the negatives? Does this action have long-term benefits in your life or is it a one-time experience?

And learn to say “No thanks, I’m good.”

What do you think? Do you think it’s okay to be scared and chose to not act? Any examples? 

*Don’t hold me to this. I may do any of the above one day icon smile On Feeling Afraid and Not Doing It

Does It Really Come When You Least Expect It?

28. June 2012 · 4 comments · Categories: Thought of the Day · Tags: , , ,

As the adage goes, things {like relationships} happen when you least expect them. Accordingly, people tell you to stop searching and just wait for something great to come along.

But when you move to a new city, do you wait for friends to come along? No, you join Meetup groups and kickball teams and go to classes at the Y. When you get fired, do you wait for a job opportunity to come along? No, you find networking events and search CareerBuilder religiously.

So why doesn’t this logic apply to relationships? Why is putting yourself out there, testing out speed dating, or joining an online dating site often considered desperate instead of just taking control of your dating life?

I’m all about the philosophy that things happen for a reason and often things do come when you least expect them. But I don’t use that mentality as justification for sitting back and hoping luck takes over. On the flip side, I do think there’s a big difference between getting out there and being flat-out desperate.

I also think there’s something to be said for living a full, engaged life and having side benefits {like a relationship!} be part of your “reward.”

What do you think? Do things happen when you least expect them or do you need to put yourself out there? 

Whenever I write my Thought of the Day posts, I think about the fact that you can find a piece of wisdom to match anything you feel. Ever noticed that?

For more on my philosophy on created luck, see this post!

pixel Does It Really Come When You Least Expect It?
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+Cristina Roman